So I doubt you've even heard of it yet, but in our burlesque troupe we have lost a new girl. But let me give some background on this first for those of you who know absolutely nothing about our burlesque troupe or the happenings thereof...
*Now, I'm mentioning this because this is the first sign of trouble that I noticed in the span of time this girl was involved with us...and because, I'm speculating, it may be a reason for her quitting.*
She started her performance and wiggled out of the jean shorts she was wearing...when a patron [drunk] came out on stage with her, picked up her shorts, waved them around her head, and smacked the new girl on the ass...before one of our girls went out and grabbed her and made her sit down--in which, she promptly stood up and walked outside for a cigarette. It shocked all of us and kinda creeped the new girl out...so much so that it made her angry--which, of course, she was in every right to be. We reassured her that everything was okay and tried our best to help her feel okay about the instance and put it behind us. Everyone left that night, and it was only mentioned once after at a group meeting...in which we agreed with her that it was a ridiculous instance and we talked about tightening our restrictions on patrons coming near us while on stage [tightening the gaps between the boys to keep people away, etc. etc.] Now it's April. We've performed 4 shows since the beginning of the month already and after our Easter Sunday show, she quit. Less than 24 hours after, to be precise.
**********END FLASHBACK**********
 |
| They look happy, right? Wrong. What you see is not always what you get. |
So now we're back to the present. We were sent a group message from said girl about her resignation, which would've been completely okay if it wasn't ridiculous and out of proportion--which it was. A direct copy+paste of the message is below :
Hello all,
I am writing with an important message. Last night I saw some things that bothered me. I want to tell you guys what bothered me and why. First, the Barnacle Boy song with [pirate band] I found to be extremely problematic. First of all, the line about "if the baby's a girl I will shove her back into your vagina" is crossing a line. There are some things that are off limits for joking. We wouldn't get up there and sing a song making light of black people being auctioned off as slaves. We wouldn't joke about Jewish people and gypsies being hauled off in trains to Auschwitz. The devaluing of female babies is a very real problem. Across time and across the world women are seen as inferior, as less powerful, as pathetic, as undesirable. For this reason a lot of cultures have (and continue to) commit female infanticide. That is, killing their female babies because they are not worth as much as a male baby. This is REAL. I realize that the Barnacle Boy song is a traditional song that goes back generations...this does not make it okay. Black face goes back generations, yet we don't do that...because it's distasteful.
Also, the way Captain Darron danced with Trashique on stage during the Barnacle Boy song sent, what I think, looked like a contradictory message to burlesque. From what You guys have always said and told me, Burlesque is about empowering women to own their sexuality. During that dance, it felt like Trashique belonged to Captain Darron, and he owned not only her, but her sexuality, and her babies. Nothing could be more disempowering. I understand this message was not your intention...but this is the message that behavior sends.
The other thing that bothered me immensely was the way [pirate band] acted toward Dolores during the Moose song. I only spoke with Dolores briefly about it, but she told me that they did not warn her about how they were going to act. That said, what they did was completely disrespectful. They touched her without her permission, and forced her into suggestive sexual positions without her permission. I understand that this is possibly something she would not have minded anyhow, but Dolores, as a human being, you and your body have the right to be asked. It is a human right and a right that you deserve. Just because a woman is in lingerie does not give anyone the carte blanche to touch her and sexualize her without her permission. It is the same logic that is used to justify sexual assault and rape..."oh well, she likes having sex, she was wearing a short skirt, she was asking for it." This is absolutely unacceptable. The only person who should have control over a woman's body is that woman herself. They should have asked.
The thing that has bothered me the most, and cut me the most deeply is the reaction I received when trying to voice my concerns. I discussed these issues with Captain Darron and was met with extreme hatefulness and disrespect. I was belittled and made to feel like my ideals made me a feminist who "takes things too seriously." Let me just say that this, too, is the same oppressive logic that conservatives have used for generations to keep women in their place. When women highlight inequalities they are seen as "ball busters" or "feminazis" or people who "just can't take a joke." These labels are used to devalue and diminish the message that women are trying to send. But worst of all is that I wasn't even given the decency of an attempt to see where I was coming from. To me, Captain Darron, this is both a personal assault and an assault to our friendship. I thought you at least had respect for me. Please understand that the biggest most obvious sign of ignorance is someone who is unwilling to listen or consider others' opinions. This is the ignorance you displayed to me today.
I hate to do this because I have an immense amount of respect for you women. I also have a lot of fun performing. But I do not feel that I can reconcile my ideals with the displays of last night. But mostly, I do not feel I can go on in this troupe in the face of how I have been treated by Captain Darron. I will not be at practice tonight, I am sorry. Understand that this is a well thought out decision that I did not make lightly.
With love,
New Girl
So after reading this, those of you who know and love the pirate band are already well aware of the infamous 3rd set...correct? For those of you who aren't, [pirate band] is a acoustic duo who sing traditional sea shanties, ridiculous stories, and straight up raunchy jingles when the time is right. They spend a lot of their performing time at the ren faires performing every weekend to an array of ages, most of them young adults and children, keeping their sets PG-13 and family friendly...but whenever they get the chance [mainly, with our burlesque troupe], they let the infamous 3rd set out, which includes "Barnacle Bill" "The Moose Song//The Women's Version" & a few of their own original pieces. I've given links for the songs that were directly taken into offense for educational value...and to show that they have been performed for years and years by other bands and were not just to depreciate us for the night.
 |
| This guy was based around the "Barnacle Bill" song all those years ago. |
But I digress...
To address all of the points in the message, I shall break it down into paragraphs...oohh....maybe even sentences! This is fun!
"Hello all,"
What is THAT supposed to mean? Hello? HELLO?! That's so sexist. :P
"I am writing with an important message. Last night I saw some things that bothered me. I want to tell you guys what bothered me and why."
Seems legit. Telling us what and why...at least she's being specific.
" First, the Barnacle Boy song with [pirate band] I found to be extremely problematic. First of all, the line about "if the baby's a girl I will shove her back into your vagina" is crossing a line. There are some things that are off limits for joking."
Like I posted before, the song is not a direct creation of [pirate band] and if you clicked the link for the song you will have noticed this as well. As far as the line mentioned, if you have a sense of humor...you understand this as a joke...and if you don't, you shouldn't be at a [pirate band] show...and being a performer means understanding that there is NOTHING off limits for joking about, performing, writing, creating, or brainstorming. Especially with jokes--there's no such thing as "limits" for a joke.
"We wouldn't get up there and sing a song making light of black people being auctioned off as slaves."
Again, to reinforce--NOTHING is off limits for a joke.
"We wouldn't joke about Jewish people and gypsies being hauled off in trains to Auschwitz."
Again, NOTHING.
"The devaluing of female babies is a very real problem."
And the devaluing of premature ejaculations is a very real problem (...NOTHING.).
 |
| Penis jokes. They're funny. |
"Across time and across the world women are seen as inferior, as less powerful, as pathetic, as undesirable. For this reason a lot of cultures have (and continue to) commit female infanticide.That is, killing their female babies because they are not worth as much as a male baby. This is REAL."
Yes, we acknowledge the devaluing of women is a real issue, and it's sad that they have to endure the trials and tribulations of the countries they are privy to...but by taking our clothes off in our sultry and comedic ways--are we not adding to the problem? [...wait, I guess we aren't...see? I've got jokes!]
"I realize that the Barnacle Boy song is a traditional song that goes back generations...this does not make it okay. Black face goes back generations, yet we don't do that...because it's distasteful."
You know what else is distasteful? Getting on stage and taking your clothes off...didn't seem to have a problem with that, did ya? Women and men alike from all demographics are allowed to have a problem with anything they see fit--they can label ANYTHING THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE/DON'T LIKE as distasteful. What else is distasteful?* The LGBT community, wearing leggings as pants, listening to Dee Snider, bad breath, cat anus, and most of all -- Barack Obama. [MORE LIKE NOBAMA]
*Note:: I am in no way against any of the following list of "distasteful things" that I write...in fact, I love all of these horrible, distasteful things! [ except for bad breath...well, and cat anus]
 |
| Mmmmm...yesssss...I must say that cat anus & Obama are both QUITE dreadful... |
"Also, the way Captain Darron danced with Trashique on stage during the Barnacle Boy song sent, what I think, looked like a contradictory message to burlesque. From what You guys have always said and told me, Burlesque is about empowering women to own their sexuality. During that dance, it felt like Trashique belonged to Captain Darron, and he owned not only her, but her sexuality, and her babies. Nothing could be more disempowering. I understand this message was not your intention...but this is the message that behavior sends."
Captain Darron once was in a play where he played the part of a racist, murdering sheriff's deputy [this is actually a true story]. THAT behavior, by the same argument, could promote murder and bigotry. Yet, one is misogynistic...the other is theater. Where did the lines blur? Every performance we spend onstage is an act of theater. We are all playing our roles, our characters, to the audience. Once again, if you haven't clicked the Barnacle Bill link, do it and read the lyrics all the way through. [Pirate band] requested us to ACT OUT the lyrics...which we've done multiple times in the past while performing with them...the lyrics are vulgar...they're meant to be...and on my part, apparently nobody [except the people in the front row] noticed me punch Captain Darron in the balls after he bent me over onstage because I didn't like it. That's the POINT of the song. It's supposed to be banter-y and ridiculously sexist.
Calling shenanigans! Dolores has performed with this band dozens of times, we sing this song as our rally before our shows...she is clearly capable of understanding the meaning behind the lyrics [or in front of] and knew exactly what went into being the "moose". [Ask her! I swear it!]
"That said, what they did was completely disrespectful. They touched her without her permission, and forced her into suggestive sexual positions without her permission. I understand that this is possibly something she would not have minded anyhow, but Dolores, as a human being, you and your body have the right to be asked. It is a human right and a right that you deserve. Just because a woman is in lingerie does not give anyone the carte blanche to touch her and sexualize her without her permission."
Yes. Agreed. Very good points and well-written at that. Dolores on the other hand argues that they DID ask her to volunteer and that she knew what she was getting into...you would've known this if you had supersonic hearing and the eye of a hawk. [BUT YOU DON'T]
"It is the same logic that is used to justify sexual assault and rape..."oh well, she likes having sex, she was wearing a short skirt, she was asking for it." This is absolutely unacceptable. The only person who should have control over a woman's body is that woman herself. They should have asked."
They did. And she said yes. Which makes it the same logic that justifies sex, not rape. Dolores may have been violated on stage, but it was with her permission.
The thing that has bothered me the most, and cut me the most deeply is the reaction I received when trying to voice my concerns. I discussed these issues with Captain Darron and was met with extreme hatefulness and disrespect." *
This point shall be up for discussion later in this entry with the actual conversation listed and quoted that is being referred to in statement.
Well, you ARE a woman. [OH MY GOD, SEXIST JOKES]
 |
| Oh my! |
"Let me just say that this, too, is the same oppressive logic that conservatives have used for generations to keep women in their place."
...IN THE KITCHEN.
"When women highlight inequalities they are seen as "ball busters" or "feminazis" or people who "just can't take a joke." These labels are used to devalue and diminish the message that women are trying to send. But worst of all is that I wasn't even given the decency of an attempt to see where I was coming from. To me, Captain Darron, this is both a personal assault and an assault to our friendship. I thought you at least had respect for me. Please understand that the biggest most obvious sign of ignorance is someone who is unwilling to listen or consider others' opinions. This is the ignorance you displayed to me today. "
Once again, to be evaluated after the epic breakdown of this letter is complete.
"I hate to do this because I have an immense amount of respect for you women."
Enough respect to send us a group Facebook message including everyone in the sideshow and burlesque troupes that work together instead of trying to communicate on a face-to-face basis.
"I also have a lot of fun performing. But I do not feel that I can reconcile my ideals with the displays of last night."
F-U-N. That's the keyword here. Why do we do what we do? Because it's FUN. Not because we're standing on our soapboxes waving our flags of feminist rage or activist awareness...but because it's fun.
"But mostly, I do not feel I can go on in this troupe in the face of how I have been treated by Captain Darron. I will not be at practice tonight, I am sorry. Understand that this is a well thought out decision that I did not make lightly."
So what's you're saying is that you let a MAN who isn't a leader of the burlesque group you are performing in scare you out of the troupe? Wait, there's some flawed logic here. And well thought out? In less than 24 hours? What?
With love,
New Girl
So we've broken down the message into tidbits, and left a few asterisks to be resolved. The message and conversation that was being referred to throughout the message sent is as below, word for word [except for the names and shit...that'd just be rude]:
* Note: Captain Darron and New Girl have known each other and been close friends for the greater portion of their lives.
 |
| Amen, brother! |
Now the reason for this blog post is here at HerLinked. I know this was long and probably a very uncomfortable read for most of my followers, and I apologize for that. I just really felt as though this needed to see the light and get out of my head and out of my fellow troupe members' as well.
We haven't taken this lightly. This has hurt. More than we're willing to admit. We're in no way malicious or rude to anyone that we perform for or to, for that matter. We do not ask those who aren't interested in our wares to come to our shows, nor do we flaunt our ways in front of them if that is not what they wish to see. The burlesque troupe was formed as a hobby, and as it grows into a traveling act, we have one common goal--to have fun. We take our clothes off onstage to hundreds of people because we want to. We do it for the rush, the pleasure, the excitement that is performing. That alone is our message. Having the confidence and gumption to get onstage, strip, and have fun while you're doing it is something millions of people could never even dream of doing--so being able to handle that with a classy twist is female empowerment in and of itself. We're not against charity or activism...we plan on putting more events like those together as the months wear on, but you've got to give us time. We don't get paid, we all have full-time jobs, and we put everything we have into our art. Progress takes time. If the issues highlighted would've been brought to us instead of posted in a public article or in a Facebook message, we would've asked to discuss it to better our troupe...not bashed the views behind it. I say this as the co-head and as a friend. I'm not unreasonable. I've got a stupid sense of humor, but I acknowledge that...so maybe it's better off that she quit. The rest of the bunch have a sense of humor as bad or worse than my own...so she would've flown off her rocker for something else if [pirate band] didn't scare her off.
The jist is, I wanted to clear the air around this article and give the other side of the story a good airing out...with no malicious intent. There's a flip side to every coin.
We're a bunch of stupid fun gypsy/circus/vaudeville/comedic/ridiculous/plain dumb group of people with a common goal...to have fun and own our sexuality while we're at it.
Hey! Did you hear that joke about that black guy...?
 |
| Not black, but still oddly fitting... |
